Let's be vain.

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A few weeks ago, my doctor said something like, “everyone is going to come out of this pandemic a hunk, a chunk or a drunk” which is all kinds of -ists, not to mention rude to say to someone’s face, but it did scare me into becoming vain again. I lost my vanity! I’m not sure where or when, but it waned for a few years and photos exist to prove it. I know it’s a deadly sin or at least related to one of them but I don’t go to church so that let’s me off the hook. That’s how religion works, right? JK.

Anyway, I’ve decided to dive headfirst into my vanity. Literally starting with my head. Here’s a list of what I’m doing and using in this effort:


  • Sleeping through the night with some medicinal help

  • Not drinking alcohol (also helps with sleep and my skin and my attitude)

  • Sitting in the sun or at my sun lamp for at least 10 minutes a day, with SPF of course

  • Not washing my face in the morning, just splash with warm water (cold is for sadists)


After that splash of water in the morning, I use this stuff from Laneige which I got as a sample and loved so much I re-upped. It’s $38 which isn’t too bad for a good daytime moisturizer, right? What is normal nowadays? I get all of my facial SPF from makeup, which I’ll talk about next week.

On to the nighttime routine:

Still in love with you, after all these years. It just gets the makeup all the way off. I wash for a full minute and then dry with a white towel to make sure I got everything.

I know it looks frightening, but this derma roller (or microneedle device) isn’t painful, to me. Every time I think about how it works — by damaging your skin a bit and forcing it to regenerate — I remember my dad telling me that running is good for you because it causes micro-fractures in your bones which strengthens them. I’d rather die. Anyway! I use this roller every-other-day. You do need to replace it every 15-ish uses, so if you want to buy one with multiple heads, go for it. You’ve gotta use these wipes or something similar after washing your face but before rolling and then spray the roller with isopropyl alcohol after each use. I roll for one minute then apply…

this serum which is $14.80. I don’t know or care what’s in it. I’ve just started using more products from this brand because a) they are cheap and b) I tried this peel and love it:

You can use the peel more than once a week but I don’t and it still works great. My acne scars are lighter and my skin is happier in general. YMMV. I only use moisturizer after the peel, skipping the serum that day. On non-peel days, I use that serum up above and follow with this moisturizer:

I’ve read everywhere that this cheap stuff is almost identical to Creme de La Mer, which I would save up and splurge on back when I was better about being vain. The only difference between the two is some sea kelp (which actually gets turned into an into an AHA) in La Mer, and you get that in the peel up above along with other acids in the serum. All for the price of a sample of La Mer!

Important note: I put all this shit on my neck, too.

On to the rest of my head:

I can’t decide if I want to go grey, so for now I’m using a demi-permanent gloss my friend Janine finally put on my hair a few weeks ago when her salon was allowed to open up to a few people at a time with all kinds of intense protocols in place. Something like this Redken one which you use with this developer. It won’t cause damage and covers my greys beautifully.

If you have a sweet boyfriend like I do, he gives you this shampoo for dyed hair and you use it.

My child and I both have wavy/curly hair (tricked ya!) and this conditioner is great for both of us. It moisturizes and detangles. Love it. Fairly inexpensive.

I don’t like to wash my hair too often because of the dye and also who has the time? So, in between I use this dry shampoo which comes in a variety of shades and covers my roots but not in an obvious way. I used to be a devotee of Bumble’s brunette version, but it has too much color that gets all over my hands and bathroom. This one does not. I also like their styling lotion when I blow dry.

Here’s the sun lamp I was talking about, which has hilarious promo photos. Unlike this model, I do not use it on my feet. Might try it though.

That’s it for today. Next week: makeup! I love you.